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Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
Give me a fish & I`ll cook you dinner. Teach me to fish & I`ll just be sitting there in the boat with you getting drunk.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.