Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.