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Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.