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How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
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Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don’t have if they are asking me for advice.
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window