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That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think youβre moving.
The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
If thereβs one piece of advice I can give you itβs to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
At the end of the day, life should ask us, βDo you want to save the changes?β
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
This could be the best day everβ¦ but it isnβt. Again.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me