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real eyes realize real lies
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
Man: "You look nice today..." Woman: "Was I ugly yesterday?"
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.