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Attention burglars: We may or may not be home. Or maybe we are hunters, waiting for you to get closer for a kill shot
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
A recent report shows that people who smoke weed get into 85% fewer car crashes than drunk people. Obviously. It`s a lot easier to see what`s coming when you`re only driving at eleven miles an hour.
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.