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I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
Ok honey don’t freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn’t do the dishes.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."