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I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
If I had a time machine, I would just keep going back to bed.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?