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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.