Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
I wish I had Dora`s mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk ;)
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.