Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
Now that my kids are getting older, I`m worried I`ll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.