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To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don´t have a son. That kid is one damn good liar.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.