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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers