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I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Look, here’s the deal: If you’re into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.