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some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
My cat’s gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on YouTube.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..