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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?