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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
I used to care what you thought of me, then I remembered what I thought of you.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
gua suka sama kamu