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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
I believe in love at first episode.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
A word to the wise isn`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?