Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?