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When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.