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"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
What about a To-Don`t List?
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.