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I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it’s the ones we love that hurt us the most.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!