Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting...
Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose vodka.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.