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I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.