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If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!