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You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
The only problem with using the treadmill is that you can`t run from your own farts.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
Why the hell do we still use snow shovels when flame throwers are available?
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.