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I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?