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Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
Before I got married I didn`t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster