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MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
Sorry, I didn`t get your text...Just kidding, I ignored that sh!t.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
Just once I`d like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.