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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
You`re the kind of friend I text when I`m pooping and need something to do.
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?