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Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
No one has ever been in an empty room.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!