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Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
I hope someone drives slightly slower in front of you on a crowded highway and you can’t pass.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.