Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Redneck word of the day: Twerk "Imma have one more beer then imma get back twerk!"
Some people are like water balloons; they`re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
I hate it when Iām singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
A cop pulled me over and said ``Papers...`` So I said, ``Scissors, I win!`` and drove off like a boss!
The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.