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Wow.. I didn`t know spandex could hold that much.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
After a certain point, the `F` on the thermometer no longer stands for Fahrenheit.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
One of my best talents is pretending to like people. Unfortunately, I only show it when no one`s around.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
My penis was in the Guinness book of World Records. Then the librarian told me I had to take it out before she called security.
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.