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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I`ve successfully installed Java. He hates me.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...