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Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you ... Priceless
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Better late than pregnant.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories