Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
There`s a time and place for wine, In my hand and now.
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
A birth control pill a day keeps the mini-van away.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Oh look, it`s raining outside. I think I`ll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don`t have a window of their own.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`
Anything is legal when there`s no police around
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store