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People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.