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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.