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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
If I text with “Almost there!” I haven’t left yet.
First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?