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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
I dream about naps.