Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"