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I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
I was fighting with this gal over who is lazier. I let her win.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.