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Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.