Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Soup of the day: Beer
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?