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"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you