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There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
with great power...comes great electric bill...
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
My boss acts like during March Madness is the only time we`re less productive. Its cute
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...