Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!