Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
I always say, your laundry is never completely done, unless you do it in the nude. Which probably explains the strange looks at the laundrymat this afternoon.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.