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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I heard an ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But then, I can`t drive a bus..
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
I hope to get to the point in my life where Iām not excited about finding change on the ground.
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to stop being so impatient.
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.