Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
If I share my food with you, it’s either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don’t want it.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.