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Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.