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We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
My ex was in a swimming competition with 19 other women today. They were doing the breaststroke. Unfortunately, she came in last place. She didn`t know she could have used her arms!
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!