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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.