Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it.
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.