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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
I don’t go to bars for the same reason I don’t grocery shop when I’m hungry. I always come home with things I didn’t need.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
So long pants! See you Monday!
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
when in Rome get naked ;)