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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Please don`t hastag out loud...
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
I am the bestest at the English language...
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas cost everywhere.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.