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Nothing shuts my pie hole more than an actual pie.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
is spending my children´s inheritance.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business