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Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5