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So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
So can we just skip to summer now?
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
I’m drinking something. I`ll give you a hint: It starts with a B and rhymes with....um..... “beer.”
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!