Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Boss: Are you on drugs? Me: You and I both know I don`t make enough money to have a drug problem
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
Real friends show me their boobs
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.