Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule
A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked , "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "kindergarten".
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!