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Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
High fiving was the original "like".
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!