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I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
I liked you better before we met.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.