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Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you`re over 40.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don`t be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don`t show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
It`s not an attitude problem, it`s the way I am.
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
So can we just skip to summer now?
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.