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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
Long story short, I love summaries.
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone’s numbers again, I text them: “Guess who?” for 2 weeks.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.