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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
School is like an erection. It`s long and hard unless you`re Asian.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
To be fair, if I had a friend who could turn water into wine - I’d worship him too.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I´m typing this with my middle finger.
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup, and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.