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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Little to no thought was put into this status.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
Don`t pick on Aquaman! The crime rate underwater is pretty damn low the last time I checked.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...